Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Zip - Zap - Zackkk

"This isn't the real CEASER's PALACE is it??? " he asks..

                                                and i was already in splits knowing exactly what he's gonna ask next.. he he hee...he's by far the most hillarous character till date.. Man!! Where the hell was he hiding all these years.. Everything about him is GOOD funny to me.

 

By my own definition GOOD funny means :- the act which wen u mentally run through again sitting in office, loo or just after u wake up and can't help yourself from laughing...  it's jus not the dialogues he says (most of which btw is impov'd by the characters apart from the extremely well written lines), but the way he says it, his innocence and and him being complete unaware about the same makes him so cuute (yes!! I did say cute).  The way our man Cut's thru phil's toast on the terrace of ceaser's palace to read out his own compilation, the way the run's to the loo after the fateful night, and the way he makes the baby "wack it's weenus".. Most of all the confidence with which he walks up when the officer calls "Alright, let's go handsome, come on" but to his disappointment and unaware as to why he was sent back with a "Not you fat Jesus".. he he he.. The funniest part is that he doesn't get offended; he's just amused as to why he's sent back after the officer CLEARLY pointed to him by calling out "HANDSOME".

 

ZACK ZACK ZACK .. RESPECT and Emperor's bow.. HONEST  :)

 

P.S: your Language is OFFENSSIVE!!!

After that::--

Phil: God damn it! 
Alan(ZACK): Gosh darn it! 
Phil: Shit! 
Alan (ZACK): Shoot! 

ha ha ha..

P.P.S: it would be so cool if I could breast-feed.. :) :)

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Bawwwwrrrrdddd

He he . so so jobless I am..

Things that amuse/ entertain / interest me nowadays can vary from a piece of useless paper or "Who wins flip of coin" best of 3 of course, changing my desktop wallpaper, browsing some news site hoping they’l publish something worthy of reading.. I hope you got the picture, right?. I’m so bored of staying putt @ my desk that whenever I’m out of my place ppl jus flash a smile @ me thinkin such a lucky bastard I am.. jus for the record “it’s not all that rosy”.. for a week’s time being jobless is fun but after that it’s as fun as - chewing on a day old Center Fresh which u pulled out from under a college desk in a hour long lecture after a filling lunch in a cockroach ridden place- got the idea??

 

Introspection becomes the only way u can think. U pass judgments on others, not coz it’s in ur blood or that u hate that person but just coz u simply have nothing better to do than that. U can very well see ur moving one step closer to turn into a Chick for the only reason that U love rumours even if u know it’s fake jus cos the fact that it gives u something to talk abt Gossip gossip all the way.

 

When I see a TV somewhere in the restaurant or something just the fact that it happens to show The New AXE effect Ad where this female is searching for her cell phone all over the library floor it seems to please me immensely or say that they happen to show something that has Katrina in it ->  same effect (No sweetheart it’s not just me it’s what all guys feel jus the degree varies).


 

Well that’s it.. I’m bored sittin @ my place now.. gotta go.. byeee


Today's exercise : Google "Bored".. follow the first link..

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Dry Run

Pa PA paa paa… pa pa pa pa paaa. Dhun dhun….

Pa PA paa paa… pa pa pa pa paaa. Dhun dhun…

Taan taan taaa taa tat a tat a taaannnnn…..

                                       ----UNIVERSAL----

 

I swear to god if (God Forbid) the "Multiplex – Producer" standoff does not end soon this is how my dreams wud start off. C’mon guys ur holding the whole country’s entertainment @ gunpoint. This is sheer violence. I miss the Big screen magic. I miss the release by dozen attitude of our very own bollywood. I miss Rajeev Masand’s rhyming bull crap reviews. Now, let me get this straight, it’s not like I’m gonna watch every other 2 bit movie that is put up in the theatre. But I miss all the action that surrounds it, it’s like Diwali in Gujarat or like Weddings in Punjab orDelhi where it’s not just the main event that’s of interest but the sub-events before and after the main event. To name a few I’d love to see the skeleton faced “My Daddy is a producer” Jacky’s ass-whipped in public reviews, I’d like to see mindless skimpily clad “zero size“ models running around in the background of a desi movie song for no reason what so ever, I’d also like to play “Who’s ur media partner” game, by comparing the no. of star’s they give in movie review. And last but not the least “Running Successfully in a Theatre near you”, “Blockbuster” & “Super Hit” tags attached in promos the following week. Ah!! Good ol’ days they were.

 

And wha’s the hell is wrong with Hollywood guys, I don understand ur “no issue, no gain , no release” funda. It seems like they are so engrossed watching the "Producer – Multiplex" standoff that they forgot to send in the reels for INDIA RELEASE. For all you know they might have received a rude shock when they heard things like

1.       “SRK- AAMIR put their differences aside to express their solidarity with producers”,

2.       “I’m ready to clean toilets of theatre’s - AAMIR”,

3.       “This is my lucky year, and Jacky (in Kal Kisne Dekha) will be a hit- Vashu Bhagnani”

Now the first 2 dialogues I guess wud have caught their hollywood counterparts in a emotional fix and I guess wud have played a crucial part in their decision to hold back the release of Hollywood movies. But the moment the 3rd statement was put in the papers I guess they realized it’s all bullshit and that this drama is leading nowhere. Thanks to Bhagnani sir thar “Angels & Demons” is finally releasing this Friday. Not that I carry a huge expectationa off it, but it’s good to end the dry run by watching Tom Hanks denouncing or rather questioning the very foundation of ppl’s religious beliefs on big screen.

 

P.S:-  No I Don’t wanna end this post by saying “Jai Ho!”

P.P.S:- Just so that I don’t do it Literally J

Monday, February 2, 2009

The Urban Warrior

It was the day many dreaded, the day when the strongest kinds ran around with their tails tucked between their legs. But unlike them I was determined, I was prepared. I stepped in to the arena feeling Déjà vu. I saw others who were der before me, lying down, my fellow men, wincing with pain, they had done their duty fearless and leading from the front. But the enemy was cunning, he was skillful and prepared. Although we outnumbered him by far, he somehow clearly had an upper hand on the situation.

I slowly geared up, allowing nothing to deter me from the ultimate face off. It was then I saw the enemy, who stood across the heap where my fellow men lie in a pool of blood. He was unscathed, determined as a morning sun. Wearing his appearance, which was his biggest weapon, lean and fragile, which gave the opposition a thrust in their confidence only to make some horrendous mistake and then finally fall to him. But I told myself that it will not be the case with me, I will bring him down and emerge victorious.

I stood across the arena waiting for the right moment to commence our battle, then at that moment he looked up from his latest kill right into my eyes and invited me with the slightest of nod, I responded with a nod, den v both charged towards each other, both jus keeping our eye contact, not shouting, not showing the slightest of fear or strength, trying to conserve all energy for the battle ahead.

There was still lot of ground our thumping feet needed to cover before we actually could have had a strike. It was den he did the unexpected: he slightly deviated from his path took some giant steps and leapt into the air, holding his weapon which looked like a spear, but smaller, high above his head ready to strike. In a quick reflex I moved away, seeing which he twisted mid-air and kicked me on my chest. I was thrown to the ground. It was a bad fall. I turned around to guard myself against him, but only to realize I was too late to do that. He was already charging down at me like a wild bull, he struck me again with the butt of his weapon, which I still couldn’t quite figure out as to what it really was.

I felt my hand loosen its grip over the weapon I held, he again delivered a severe blow, and quickly jumped on me to capitalize on me when I’m down. He looked down at me with what looked like pity in his eyes; he raised his weapon, which was now shining like a piece of silver, ready to strike. Before he did strike he uttered the words that the legend told he always did: “Don’t Worry it won’t Hurt”. Den I experienced a piercing pain in my arm, I opened my eyes to see him smiling, I smiled back, suddenly a realization made him to stare back at me wiping out the smile from his face. I looked up and told “Dude u missed the spot”. He looked back at wound only to realize that my words were true. He pulled out his weapon from my arm and stuck again, this time right on target. I lay there feeling weak, for it all to get over with. After 10mins he tapped my shoulder, pulled out his weapon, checked the bag in which he collected my blood and looked up and told: “Thank you for donating blood sir, please have the sandwich and juice over the counter. It’s complimentary” :)

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

To the unknown ....

Oh sweetest of all sweethearts,
Ur the one who'll rule my thoughts,
When u choose to preside as the queen of my heart,
My life's picture will figure it's last connecting dot.

With Love,
Vatras